Thursday, March 3, 2011

March 3rdthnd

Okay, so picking up where I left yesterday....
    I kind of skimped on the subjects of music and art last night because, frankly, I was getting exhausted.
    In the early '00s (is that was they're called?), I began using a nifty program called Sibelius for music composition. Suddenly, musical ideas could become fully orchestrated pieces regardless of whether I could actually -play- the music myself! Much of this composition culminated in the writing of a 30-minute epic I sometimes call "The Paralleladigm." I would be remiss not to mention that my friend Matt Smith was an active participant in much of the writing process, and even co-wrote many of the drum and guitar parts. It's musical madness at it's most manic, and I thoroughly enjoyed writing it, along with other music in Sibelius. However, like so many other important aspects of my life, music composition was put on hiatus once I began managing the restaurant. Eventually even playing my piano and singing would fade to near-nothingness, kept alive only with the occasional prodding of Frank, Paul, or Bethany. Again I will say this: other people may be able to manage the stresses of running a business while keeping their other needs and passions fulfilled; I was not. So I stopped playing, singing, and writing music, save the occasional, sporadic night of piano playing for Solas, or the rare times I'd force myself at Frank's behest to go play music with him, never mind how busy I'd been or how behind at work I was. I have mentioned before the Parable of Talents in my blog; in giving me the gift of music, among so many gifts, I am expected to use it - and I have not. Therefore, I owe it to God, myself, my friends and loved ones to find my muse again. I have recently reinstalled Sibelius, and I've moved my piano and microphone near the computer. Soon, very soon, I will start recording video of myself playing; I hope to upload it to YouTube or some-such to share. Hopefully you'll get as much out of it as I always have. The good thing is, even with the stifling of the act of music-making, I have not stopped coming up with musical ideas altogether in the last eight years. So it will be nice to put some newer stuff out there also; hopefully Frank will still want to record with my sometime the next month or two.
    Speaking of visual art, there isn't much more to add than I said yesterday; unfortunately, I have just let it go that much. The funny thing is, I still "plan" drawings. I still come up with ideas for cool fantasy scenes and the like, which I usually write down in OneNote (MS Office), hoping to come back to those ideas eventually. That time is now!
    I helped Tony finish his first schedule as GM of our store today! What an interesting mind trip it was, to help make a schedule on which another man would be the general manager instead of me, and help schedule myself thirty-five hours, that being considered "high." (Remember, except on vacation, I have worked at least fifty hours each week for the last eight years!) I looked at the final version of my schedule for next week, and a shiver ran down my spine - look at all the times I -won't- be at the store! Wow, what all can I accomplish!
    So, the same enthusiasm that's been growing in me ever since Tony walked in the door earlier this week is now multiplying; I can see what my future looks like as it relates to the store, and, consequently, how it related to everything else. And how beautiful it is!
    Even with two days left this week on salary, devoted strongly to Tony's training, I already feel a bit of release! I feel unburdened! And interacting with Bethany, and with the kids, I feel more positive, upbeat, and loving. I pray that it's not simply psychological relativity, and that it fades with time; instead, let it continue to grow!
    I want to be a better family man, more willing and able to help with the chores and with the kids, and have a more reciprocal relationship with my wife. I want Solas to stop thinking that every time he sees me get up in the morning that I'm going to work, and will be coming home when it's time for night-night. Like Mrs. Jessica Bowman said yesterday, it's the end of an era. Or, maybe, more accurately, the beginning of a new one!
    Shine on 'til tomorrow!

2 comments:

  1. Still waiting around for our new era. :/

    Yay Smiths!

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  2. I am happy for you, man! Sounds like you've got your priorities in line. I would be honored to have the opportunity to take a part in some of these epic forthcoming recordings! Let me know if I can help in any way!

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